2009 was a fun year, filled with a lot of really strange and interesting stories from all over Asia. As we anticipate bring you another year of Weird Asia News, we take a moment to highlight our Top 10 Weirdest Asian News Stories from 2009.

1. Angry Teacher Rips Student’s Cheek Off

On December 18th, 2008, a 10 year-old 5th grader named Chao Qun Zheng went to his elementary school in HeNan, China.

When his teacher, Guo, found out that young Zheng had not completed his homework, she flipped out.

“She was very angry at the time,” he said. “She ripped and twisted my cheeks with both her hands and then she lifted me off the ground.”

The teacher held the boy up until one of his cheeks actually ripped off and the boy was bleeding profusely.

2. Goblin Shark of Tokyo Bay

Known as Mitsukurina Owstoni, the goblin shark is truly an odd and lonely creature. Identified mainly by the unusual shape of its head, or snout, which is much longer than other sharks, and also its odd colored pink skin.

The weirdest and coolest aspect of this unusual shark is its retractable jaw, which resembles that nasty critter  Sigourney Weaver zonked out of the spacecraft in that old horror classic, Alien. It really seems to leap out of its mouth in order to catch its unsuspecting prey, which include: squid, crabs and fish.

3. Indian Girl Marries Dog In Bizarre Ritual

A flaming indication that India remains a land of enduring superstition, especially in rural areas where literacy is practically non-existent, here is a most unusual news item about a young girl who was forced to marry a dog in order to ward off “evil spirits.”

In India’s eastern Jharkhand, locals in the Munda Dhanda village have ‘married off’ one of its children to a stray dog because they believed her family was endangered by a malevolent spirit that could be assuaged in no other way.

4. Child Born with Second Penis in the Middle of His Back

Fetus in Fetu (FIF) is a rare and very mysterious medical condition that is said to have occurred (or at least is recorded to have occurred) less than ninety times throughout medical history.

For the little boy born in Tianjin’s Children Hospital in China, the second penis in the middle of his tiny back is a medical first and even weirder than some other instances of this highly unusual phenomenon.

5. Woman Delivers ‘Stone Baby’ After 60 Year Pregnancy

In a bizarre turn of events straight out of Mr. Ripley’s personal files, comes this true story of a 92-year-old woman who delivered a child (albeit not a live baby) she had been carrying for over half a century! (Long pregnancies are one thing, but THAT is ridiculous!)

Huang Yijun, aged 92, is from southern China and she recently made news after delivering a baby known as a lithopedion, aka ‘Stone Baby’.

6. The Goonch: Vicious Human-Eating Mutant Catfish

The Great Kali is a river that flows along the India-Nepal border. Ordinarily a rather serene location, a mutant, vicious catfish has been terrorizing natives who fear swimming and meeting up with the goonch who eats people (not to be confused with the grinch who ate Christmas).

This creature, a giant catfish, looks like a reject from a horror movie, and is all the more disturbing because it is dangerous and very, very real!

Scientists fear that the fish, originally a bottom feeder scavenger, began eating humans after developing a taste for flesh from feeding on burnt corpses dumped into the river after funerals.

7. Customer Beaten to Death by Walmart Employees

At Walmart, theft is not tolerated. At least not at the Walmart in Jingdezhen, China, where a customer died at the hands of Walmart employees who suspected her of stealing.

It started out when one of the Walmart employees suspected a female customer of theft. The customer was then under surveillance for a few minutes before being approached by the staff.

The Walmart employee requested to search the customer’s bag and the female customer refused to hand it over, stating that it was a violation of her privacy.

8. Creepy, Crazy, and Strange Japanese Toys

While Asia has its share of weird and unusual toys, Japan takes the lead in inventing the truly bizarre items. From ‘Road Kill Cat’ to a legless woman, here are some of creepy toys that are too weird, even for Halloween.

This one is for folks who downplay the usefulness of the ‘Cat went to Aunt’s farm’ cover story for a pet’s death. And, while it might be argued that this is a odd collectible aimed at a niche adult audience, the cartoon image of a child’s face is a disturbing giveaway about the target audience.

9. Man Carves Tunnel for 14 Years to Park Near House

A man in India has proved that nothing’s impossible, not when you have the willpower and the right equipment. Frustrated with a hilly range that blocked easy access to his home, Ramchandra Das, a villager from Kewati, eastern Bihar, slugged away at the rocky mountain for 14 years creating a small tunnel.

The tunnel, measuring 10 m in length and 4 m width, finally enabled Das to park his truck by his home.

Prior to this, there was no convenient way for him to drive his vehicle to his house.

10. Asia’s Top 10 Most Unique Deformities

Nobody has it easy these days, not even actors and actresses. The one thing that keeps us all trudging along though is hope, whether that hope entails faith in a returning Messiah, dreams of fame or fortune, or just the anticipation of a hot meal at the local homeless shelter.

Sometimes though, we become so enamored with our own burdens that we lose sight of hope. Perhaps the following stories of brave, albeit unfortunate souls will help relieve these burdens by reminding us that things could always be far worse.

The Horny Grandma